I’m guilty of this most days myself.

There are times when I feel anxious, nervous, scared, annoyed, and angry and if someone were to ask me why, I simply may not know exactly.

Observation, reflection, introspection … whatever you want to call it is, I think, an under used power. Observing why you’re feeling the way you do, what about a particular situation is causing you to get all worked up, what is happening right now around you to cause certain feelings is a very valuable tool to get you to be more mindful as you make your way through your day.

Maybe you feel anxious but can’t quite put your finger on it. Is it that your relatives are coming for the weekend, the roof is leaking, there’s a mess to be cleaned up in the kitchen or is the dog in need of a vet checkup?

Figuring yourself out can only be done by understanding what’s really going on. It doesn’t mean you have to fix the problem right now but it gives you insight into what may be causing feelings of discomfort. Alternatively, it may make you see that what you thought was the source of your discomfort really has very little to do with it.

It’s only through observing your thoughts and your environment that you can gain a deeper understanding of what you’re going through and why.

Try it this weekend. If you feel yourself getting worked up in some way and can’t quite put your finger on why, observe. Ask yourself:

• What’s happening right now?
• What am I thinking about?
• What is different about today?
• What is going on around me?

Sometimes the most obvious answers aren’t the answers at all.

Do you take time to observe in order to gain a better understanding of what’s going on with you? Has it helped?

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Just a reminder that the big e-book sale ends TODAY March 25 at 2pm EST. You can get more information about the sale here.

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The Power Of Observation is a post from: Serene Journey

Why do you do what you do?

It’s a serious question and one you’re likely not asked all that often.

Take a look at what you do each day and ask yourself “why am I doing this?”

On a typical day I’m up with my kids, playing with them, tending to them, teaching them. Why do I do it? Because I love them, I want them to have our values, I want to teach them and I want to experience what it’s like to be a mom. I could choose to go back to a job outside of the home and earn a fairly good income, but I choose to stay home because it just feels like the right thing to do … for me. I realize that this isn’t a luxury a lot of people have despite wanting it and believe me when I say I am grateful for being able to stay home with my kids.

I write. Why? Because it allows me to get in touch with my creative side, something I didn’t get to do too often when I was heavily embedded in the sciences. Writing helps me gather and focus my thoughts. It allows me to

I coach/consult people. Why? Because it allows me to work in a way that I’m passionate about, I am able to contribute financially to my family, and it’s helping me get closer to my goal of personally funding 2 children’s wishes for the Children’s Wish Foundation. Since one of my son’s is a wish kid this is near and dear to me and at $20K a wish I have a VERY long way to go. But I don’t doubt I’ll get there in my lifetime.

These are just a few examples of what I do and why I do them.  They may not sit well with everyone but I do what I do in these respects with purpose and reason.

I could also mention that I watch TV from time to time. If you asked me why I do it, I wouldn’t have a very good answer – to curb boredom, to relax and just sit at the end of the day.  There are a lot of better things I could be doing with my time but occasionally TV is okay.

I think doing things without purpose, a plan or the bigger picture in mind can be fun but it may be wasting your time, effort, energy, talents and skills.

So what are you doing and why are you doing it?

Take inventory of what you’re doing in major life areas and try to understand why you’re doing them.

Does what you do play to your strengths? Do you get great joy out of doing it? Is it helping you get closer to a goal or a dream you have?

If you spend too much of your time focusing on things that don’t really matter, that don’t really excite you and you don’t have a reason for doing what you’re doing you could be missing out on a lot of great things.

Think of all the opportunities you could be missing out on if you’re tied up in activities that don’t matter to you. Wouldn’t you hate to realize one day that what you wanted all along passed you by because you were too busy doing other things. Menial things.

So my question remains: What are you doing and why do you do it?

You may also enjoy:

I Love My Family

How To Live The Life You Want: Follow Your Dreams

Creating A Budget That Works

Photo courtesy of: * Zara

Why Do You Do What You Do? is a post from: Serene Journey

Global warming, epic flooding, horrible snow storms, terrorism, collapsing economy, unemployment and the list seems to go on and on.

I don’t want to minimize any of these things. It’s important to get a dialog going around them and they are indeed real issues. But reading about it or listening to it day, after day, after day can leave you wondering what’s the point?

Now if we let ourselves get caught up in the urgency and drama that the media creates, there’s no wonder many of us foresee doom and gloom. A lot of people take this on board, internalize it and it can really start to affect them. They start to feel really crappy.

While I think it’s important to be aware of current events and what’s going on locally, nationally and internationally I think we also need to limit what we take on board.

Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern.

If you’re one of the people I described above who really lets the news get to them, who worries and is consumed by things that are really outside of your control, there is hope. You don’t have to feel crappy! With a few simple choices you can turn yourself around.

In Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the very first habit he writes about is being proactive. According to Covey’s definition people can be classified into two generic groups: reactive people and proactive people.

Reactive people tend to focus on things that are outside of their control, things like world hunger, the weather or terrorism.

Proactive people, on the other hand, tend to focus their attention on things over which they have some degree of influence, such as their job, their diet, and exercise.

The key difference is worrying and getting down about things you can’t personally change vs. “minding your own business” (for the lack of a better phrase) and focusing on things you have a direct influence over.

So what can I do?

If you’re a reactive type of person and are tired of feeling crappy, try focusing your attention instead on things you can actually do something about. World hunger might be something you care deeply about, and that’s great, but I don’t know that one person will be able to solve all of the hunger problems in the world.

Instead of worrying about it and fretting over it consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and start helping people locally. If that’s not enough look for a national organization that is doing work in this same area and see if there is a position right for you to focus your efforts on a larger scale.

Moping about things over which you have no control does nothing except make you feel bad, dis-empowered and perhaps hopeless. Take a good look at where you spend your energy and time thinking. Is it making you happy or sucking the life right out of you?

You don’t have to feel crappy because of all the bad that seems to be going on in the world. Focus on the right things and you can still make a difference and feel great about it.

See also:

Keeping Perspective Through The Tough Times

Move.

How To Kill Your Disappointment

Photo courtesy of: Zara

Why We Tend To Feel So Crappy is a post from: Serene Journey

We often look at the new adventure before us with great excitement at first. After about 10 minutes we’ve all but talked ourself out of it because it’s going to be “hard“.

Sure it is. Everything you try for the first time is going to be hard. Maybe even too hard. But it doesn’t mean you should give up.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

This elephant metaphor is a common way to explain the idea of taking huge tasks, breaking them down and making them easier, more manageable. We look at a new job, task or adventure as we would look at the elephant. Huge, intimidating and insurmountable.

It’s only when we breakdown the adventure before us that it actually starts to look do-able. Everything is hard when we don’t have experience, guidance or information.

If you look back at anything that’s ever been hard initially you’ll quickly discover that the difficulty rating soon wanes. Did you give up? Well maybe on some of them, but I guarantee not on all of them.

If you’ve learned to write, walk, talk, skate, if you’ve ever written a test, started your own company, or organized a space that seemed impossible you’ve overcome “hard” and have succeeded.

Things start off hard and then get easier. The majority of life is just like that.

Things get easier the more we learn about them, the more talk about them and the more we do them.

Next time something stops you dead in your tracks because it’s going to be “hard”, stop, relax, think back, break it down and carry on. Nothing is ever too hard if you want it bad enough.

How do you overcome the paralysis of “it’s too hard”?

See also:

Enrich Your Life By Facing Your Fears Head On.

3 Important Questions To Consider

Focus On Your Strengths

What’s Your Greatest Fear?

Photo courtesy of: Marvin (PA)

Sometimes Things Are Just Hard is a post from: Serene Journey

I have always loved helping people. It never occurred to me that that was my passion, my actual purpose in life, until this past year.

This year however, I’m going for it. I’m going out on a limb and doing what I know I was meant to do, what I’m good at.

Today I’m letting you all know about my consulting business here on Serene Journey and giving you a feel for what you can expect when you work with me. I’ve done this unofficially for years and I’m now putting some lines around the whole process and taking it live.

Are you ready to take back control?

I’ve worked with a lot of smart, motivated people who simply want to live a simpler, less-stressful, more positive life but don’t know how or where to start. I’ve also work with passionate people who have started projects but are now stuck and need motivation, inspiration and strategies to get them going again and get it done.

Most commonly discussed topics in my consulting sessions:

• Strategies for getting organized at home (meal planning, daily routines, time management and simplifying) and striking a balance between work and home life.
• Create action plans to effectively minimize, simplify and declutter home or office space.
• Overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed by too many tasks or ideas and get focused on setting priorities to get things done.
• Reconciling what you do with who you are or who you want to be. Working through specific strategies to get you feeling better and being happier in your own skin than ever before.
• Developing contingency plans to get back on track when we inevitably fall off the wagon.
• Becoming un-stuck. We all get in ruts (exercise, eating, boredom etc …) and it can be really difficult to break free.
• and more which you can read about here.

We will work together to get you un-stuck, motivated and excited about taking your life in a new direction.

What is consulting?

Firstly, let me tell you what it’s not. My consulting is not therapy and I don’t delve into your past except where it helps us to go forward. It’s not a bunch of happy talk or fluff and it’s not generic one-size fits all advice.

My consulting is to-the-point with no nonsense and it won’t waste your time. My consulting is results oriented and I focus on the here and now as well as the future to get you to a place you’re happier with. My consulting is customized to you. I will work with you to develop plans and tools that are right for you.

Let me be your mentor, your cheerleader, or your sounding board to help you achieve success in your personal life.

What now?

If you’re interested, YAY! I can’t wait to meet you and start working together!, please click here for more information, including packages and pricing.

If this isn’t something you’re interested in right now no worries at all and as always thank you for reading! If at some point in the future you do feel you could use a little nudge you know where to find me!

The way I am introduced to clients is through word of mouth, so if any of the things I’ve described above sound like it could benefit someone you know please let them know where to find me.

Here’s to your success, happiness and a simpler life in 2011!

Photo courtesy of: AmirK

Are You Ready To Take Back Control? is a post from: Serene Journey

Imagine you’re going about your day and so far everything is to plan. Then out of the blue you’re faced with something completely unexpected and unplanned. Maybe it’s a change in a project direction or the thing that you’ve been working on for weeks or months is no longer relevant and all your hard work is going to be tossed.

You have a few ways of dealing with this type of situation one of which is to go with it – to roll with the punches.

I realize that a lot of times this is easier said than done. I, for one, am not a  person who  naturally just goes with the flow, is spontaneous, or willingly changes plans at the last minute. Nope, I like structure, order and am not too keen on abstract thinking either.

I’ll share with you a few things that can help you cope a bit better.

1. Calm down and be realistic.

Try and avoid using absolutes. When someone makes a decision that directly affects you, avoid using always or never. Things like; “They always make changes at the last minute”, “they never take into account what I have to say”, “they are always doing this”.  I suspect, if you look at the situation in a more calm, rational manner you’ll see that this isn’t the case. Is it possible you don’t have all the information the decision makers do?

2. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen?

Take a further step back and evaluate the actual problem here. Are you just annoyed because this isn’t what you had planned for the day? Or is there more to it than this? After you’ve calmed down and can objectively look at the situation maybe the worst thing that can happen isn’t that bad. If it is, say something, plead your case or devise an alternate solution. There is no point in complaining unless you have an alternative solution to a problem.

3. What now?

Evaluating all your different options and deciding how to proceed is an important step. What will allow you to sleep at night? If you get all worked up and react instead of responding you’ll likely feel bad and come off looking pretty bad. Take some time to formulate a thoughtful response that allows you to be kind, considerate and maintain your integrity.

Rolling with the punches doesn’t mean rolling over and being a door mat. Just because you are presented with a difficult situation doesn’t mean you have to agree and go along. If you’re not flying off the handle, acting in anger or out of a need to be “right” and instead you’re taking the time to calm down, think about the worst possible outcome and what will be the best action for you, you’ll be well on your way towards growing emotionally and developing the skill of rolling with the punches.

Photo courtesy of: ElMarto

How To Roll With The Punches is a post from: Serene Journey

1. Do the best you can with what you have available to you right now.

2. Stop apologizing for who you are.

3. Stop trying to be perfect. You’re not (nobody is) and that’s okay.

4. Be proud of your accomplishments.

5. Embrace your mistakes. They are what allow you to learn and grow.

6. Stop trying to please everyone all the time. It will never happen.

7. Live according to you.

The world is full of people telling you what you should be, what you should have and what you should measure up to. It can make you really unhappy with who you are. Who says they are all right?

Photo courtesy of: orangeacid

A 7 Step Plan To Being Okay With Who You Are is a post from: Serene Journey

“Give it all you got.”

“Go for it.”

“It’s all or nothing.”

The sayings are similar and they all boil down to the same thing – participate fully in what you’re doing. I’d add, but not so far as you drown in it.

When you are working on a project, talking with a friend, or running a marathon – whatever – give it all you’ve got. Participate fully.

Feel – the wind, the sun, the rain, the heat, the cold, the empathy, the compassion.

Sense – the emotion, the fear, the anger, the adrenaline, the wonderment, the joy.

Hear – the cars, the chatter, the thunder, the voice of your companion, the laughter, the sobs of your friend.

Then when you’re done … let it go. Move on. Forget about it.

Good or bad, big or small … don’t drown in it.

See also:
Loosen Your Grip To Get What You Want

How to Fall in Love With Life Again

10 Tips To Alleviate Stress

Photo courtesy of: stuckincustoms

How Not To Drown is a post from: Serene Journey

Canadian Thanksgiving marks the end of harvest and is a day to give thanks.

I thought I would share with you a few things that I’m grateful for on this day.

• I am grateful for my little family and the fun we have just the four of us.
• I am grateful for my dad’s retirement and being able to spend at least one day a week catching up over coffee, just me and him.
• I am grateful for my mom and my sisters with whom I’m able to do “girly” things, which if you are a girl living in a house of boys you know why this is important
• I am grateful for my extended family who continue to accept me and love me as one of their own.
• I am grateful for the time my Grandpa took to build things. He inspires me now to build and make things for my own kids.
• I am grateful for my alone time when I can actually complete a thought.
• I am grateful for the time I’ve been given to spend with my family and friends so far, hopefully this extends well into the future.
• I am grateful to be a Canadian and live in such a beautiful and friendly town.

There really and truly is so much to be grateful for that I could go on for days listing every little thing. I’ll stop now and ask that you spend a little bit of time thinking of what you’re most grateful for today.

You may also like:

7 Things You Can Be Grateful For Today

The Grass Is Always Green Right Under Your Feet

I Love My Family

Gratitude Journal

Happy Thanksgiving is a post from: Serene Journey

Don’t let your past define you.

Do what you think is right.

Accept consequences.

Be OK with saying no.

Don’t be a victim.

Take ownership.

Have integrity.

Be deliberate.

Be content.

Choose.

“you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Winnie-the-Pooh

Photo courtesy of: Anna Gay

Get Empowered is a post from: Serene Journey