I’m guilty of this most days myself.

There are times when I feel anxious, nervous, scared, annoyed, and angry and if someone were to ask me why, I simply may not know exactly.

Observation, reflection, introspection … whatever you want to call it is, I think, an under used power. Observing why you’re feeling the way you do, what about a particular situation is causing you to get all worked up, what is happening right now around you to cause certain feelings is a very valuable tool to get you to be more mindful as you make your way through your day.

Maybe you feel anxious but can’t quite put your finger on it. Is it that your relatives are coming for the weekend, the roof is leaking, there’s a mess to be cleaned up in the kitchen or is the dog in need of a vet checkup?

Figuring yourself out can only be done by understanding what’s really going on. It doesn’t mean you have to fix the problem right now but it gives you insight into what may be causing feelings of discomfort. Alternatively, it may make you see that what you thought was the source of your discomfort really has very little to do with it.

It’s only through observing your thoughts and your environment that you can gain a deeper understanding of what you’re going through and why.

Try it this weekend. If you feel yourself getting worked up in some way and can’t quite put your finger on why, observe. Ask yourself:

• What’s happening right now?
• What am I thinking about?
• What is different about today?
• What is going on around me?

Sometimes the most obvious answers aren’t the answers at all.

Do you take time to observe in order to gain a better understanding of what’s going on with you? Has it helped?

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Just a reminder that the big e-book sale ends TODAY March 25 at 2pm EST. You can get more information about the sale here.

Photo courtesy of: kisses are a better fate than wisdom

The Power Of Observation is a post from: Serene Journey

Why do you do what you do?

It’s a serious question and one you’re likely not asked all that often.

Take a look at what you do each day and ask yourself “why am I doing this?”

On a typical day I’m up with my kids, playing with them, tending to them, teaching them. Why do I do it? Because I love them, I want them to have our values, I want to teach them and I want to experience what it’s like to be a mom. I could choose to go back to a job outside of the home and earn a fairly good income, but I choose to stay home because it just feels like the right thing to do … for me. I realize that this isn’t a luxury a lot of people have despite wanting it and believe me when I say I am grateful for being able to stay home with my kids.

I write. Why? Because it allows me to get in touch with my creative side, something I didn’t get to do too often when I was heavily embedded in the sciences. Writing helps me gather and focus my thoughts. It allows me to

I coach/consult people. Why? Because it allows me to work in a way that I’m passionate about, I am able to contribute financially to my family, and it’s helping me get closer to my goal of personally funding 2 children’s wishes for the Children’s Wish Foundation. Since one of my son’s is a wish kid this is near and dear to me and at $20K a wish I have a VERY long way to go. But I don’t doubt I’ll get there in my lifetime.

These are just a few examples of what I do and why I do them.  They may not sit well with everyone but I do what I do in these respects with purpose and reason.

I could also mention that I watch TV from time to time. If you asked me why I do it, I wouldn’t have a very good answer – to curb boredom, to relax and just sit at the end of the day.  There are a lot of better things I could be doing with my time but occasionally TV is okay.

I think doing things without purpose, a plan or the bigger picture in mind can be fun but it may be wasting your time, effort, energy, talents and skills.

So what are you doing and why are you doing it?

Take inventory of what you’re doing in major life areas and try to understand why you’re doing them.

Does what you do play to your strengths? Do you get great joy out of doing it? Is it helping you get closer to a goal or a dream you have?

If you spend too much of your time focusing on things that don’t really matter, that don’t really excite you and you don’t have a reason for doing what you’re doing you could be missing out on a lot of great things.

Think of all the opportunities you could be missing out on if you’re tied up in activities that don’t matter to you. Wouldn’t you hate to realize one day that what you wanted all along passed you by because you were too busy doing other things. Menial things.

So my question remains: What are you doing and why do you do it?

You may also enjoy:

I Love My Family

How To Live The Life You Want: Follow Your Dreams

Creating A Budget That Works

Photo courtesy of: * Zara

Why Do You Do What You Do? is a post from: Serene Journey

Global warming, epic flooding, horrible snow storms, terrorism, collapsing economy, unemployment and the list seems to go on and on.

I don’t want to minimize any of these things. It’s important to get a dialog going around them and they are indeed real issues. But reading about it or listening to it day, after day, after day can leave you wondering what’s the point?

Now if we let ourselves get caught up in the urgency and drama that the media creates, there’s no wonder many of us foresee doom and gloom. A lot of people take this on board, internalize it and it can really start to affect them. They start to feel really crappy.

While I think it’s important to be aware of current events and what’s going on locally, nationally and internationally I think we also need to limit what we take on board.

Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern.

If you’re one of the people I described above who really lets the news get to them, who worries and is consumed by things that are really outside of your control, there is hope. You don’t have to feel crappy! With a few simple choices you can turn yourself around.

In Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the very first habit he writes about is being proactive. According to Covey’s definition people can be classified into two generic groups: reactive people and proactive people.

Reactive people tend to focus on things that are outside of their control, things like world hunger, the weather or terrorism.

Proactive people, on the other hand, tend to focus their attention on things over which they have some degree of influence, such as their job, their diet, and exercise.

The key difference is worrying and getting down about things you can’t personally change vs. “minding your own business” (for the lack of a better phrase) and focusing on things you have a direct influence over.

So what can I do?

If you’re a reactive type of person and are tired of feeling crappy, try focusing your attention instead on things you can actually do something about. World hunger might be something you care deeply about, and that’s great, but I don’t know that one person will be able to solve all of the hunger problems in the world.

Instead of worrying about it and fretting over it consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and start helping people locally. If that’s not enough look for a national organization that is doing work in this same area and see if there is a position right for you to focus your efforts on a larger scale.

Moping about things over which you have no control does nothing except make you feel bad, dis-empowered and perhaps hopeless. Take a good look at where you spend your energy and time thinking. Is it making you happy or sucking the life right out of you?

You don’t have to feel crappy because of all the bad that seems to be going on in the world. Focus on the right things and you can still make a difference and feel great about it.

See also:

Keeping Perspective Through The Tough Times

Move.

How To Kill Your Disappointment

Photo courtesy of: Zara

Why We Tend To Feel So Crappy is a post from: Serene Journey

We often look at the new adventure before us with great excitement at first. After about 10 minutes we’ve all but talked ourself out of it because it’s going to be “hard“.

Sure it is. Everything you try for the first time is going to be hard. Maybe even too hard. But it doesn’t mean you should give up.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

This elephant metaphor is a common way to explain the idea of taking huge tasks, breaking them down and making them easier, more manageable. We look at a new job, task or adventure as we would look at the elephant. Huge, intimidating and insurmountable.

It’s only when we breakdown the adventure before us that it actually starts to look do-able. Everything is hard when we don’t have experience, guidance or information.

If you look back at anything that’s ever been hard initially you’ll quickly discover that the difficulty rating soon wanes. Did you give up? Well maybe on some of them, but I guarantee not on all of them.

If you’ve learned to write, walk, talk, skate, if you’ve ever written a test, started your own company, or organized a space that seemed impossible you’ve overcome “hard” and have succeeded.

Things start off hard and then get easier. The majority of life is just like that.

Things get easier the more we learn about them, the more talk about them and the more we do them.

Next time something stops you dead in your tracks because it’s going to be “hard”, stop, relax, think back, break it down and carry on. Nothing is ever too hard if you want it bad enough.

How do you overcome the paralysis of “it’s too hard”?

See also:

Enrich Your Life By Facing Your Fears Head On.

3 Important Questions To Consider

Focus On Your Strengths

What’s Your Greatest Fear?

Photo courtesy of: Marvin (PA)

Sometimes Things Are Just Hard is a post from: Serene Journey

I have always loved helping people. It never occurred to me that that was my passion, my actual purpose in life, until this past year.

This year however, I’m going for it. I’m going out on a limb and doing what I know I was meant to do, what I’m good at.

Today I’m letting you all know about my consulting business here on Serene Journey and giving you a feel for what you can expect when you work with me. I’ve done this unofficially for years and I’m now putting some lines around the whole process and taking it live.

Are you ready to take back control?

I’ve worked with a lot of smart, motivated people who simply want to live a simpler, less-stressful, more positive life but don’t know how or where to start. I’ve also work with passionate people who have started projects but are now stuck and need motivation, inspiration and strategies to get them going again and get it done.

Most commonly discussed topics in my consulting sessions:

• Strategies for getting organized at home (meal planning, daily routines, time management and simplifying) and striking a balance between work and home life.
• Create action plans to effectively minimize, simplify and declutter home or office space.
• Overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed by too many tasks or ideas and get focused on setting priorities to get things done.
• Reconciling what you do with who you are or who you want to be. Working through specific strategies to get you feeling better and being happier in your own skin than ever before.
• Developing contingency plans to get back on track when we inevitably fall off the wagon.
• Becoming un-stuck. We all get in ruts (exercise, eating, boredom etc …) and it can be really difficult to break free.
• and more which you can read about here.

We will work together to get you un-stuck, motivated and excited about taking your life in a new direction.

What is consulting?

Firstly, let me tell you what it’s not. My consulting is not therapy and I don’t delve into your past except where it helps us to go forward. It’s not a bunch of happy talk or fluff and it’s not generic one-size fits all advice.

My consulting is to-the-point with no nonsense and it won’t waste your time. My consulting is results oriented and I focus on the here and now as well as the future to get you to a place you’re happier with. My consulting is customized to you. I will work with you to develop plans and tools that are right for you.

Let me be your mentor, your cheerleader, or your sounding board to help you achieve success in your personal life.

What now?

If you’re interested, YAY! I can’t wait to meet you and start working together!, please click here for more information, including packages and pricing.

If this isn’t something you’re interested in right now no worries at all and as always thank you for reading! If at some point in the future you do feel you could use a little nudge you know where to find me!

The way I am introduced to clients is through word of mouth, so if any of the things I’ve described above sound like it could benefit someone you know please let them know where to find me.

Here’s to your success, happiness and a simpler life in 2011!

Photo courtesy of: AmirK

Are You Ready To Take Back Control? is a post from: Serene Journey

1. Do the best you can with what you have available to you right now.

2. Stop apologizing for who you are.

3. Stop trying to be perfect. You’re not (nobody is) and that’s okay.

4. Be proud of your accomplishments.

5. Embrace your mistakes. They are what allow you to learn and grow.

6. Stop trying to please everyone all the time. It will never happen.

7. Live according to you.

The world is full of people telling you what you should be, what you should have and what you should measure up to. It can make you really unhappy with who you are. Who says they are all right?

Photo courtesy of: orangeacid

A 7 Step Plan To Being Okay With Who You Are is a post from: Serene Journey

We don’t see each other everyday, in fact we can go for months without catching up. The funny thing is that when either of us do pick up the phone and start chatting, it’s as though no time has passed.

What I love about this friendship of ours is there are no games, no making the other feel bad or cold shoulders for not keeping in touch more.

We’ve been there for each other through deaths in our families and she’s been there to meet our kids when they were just a few hours old. She was the maid of honour at my wedding and I was hers this past weekend. I can’t wait to meet her little babies when they make their grand appearance … one day (no pressure ).

It’s been great helping D plan her wedding this past year. We’ve gotten to know each other better and I’ve been able to get to know her (now) husband and he’s such a fantastic person, to say I’m happy for both of them would be a huge understatement.

So what’s our secret?

To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t know. It just works and it’s great.

• We’re there for each other to share good news, bad news and anything else.
• We can count on each other when we feel we may not be able to count on anyone else.
• We don’t judge or put each other down.
• We encourage and are genuinely happy for each other.
• In short we’re respectful and nice to each other and we’re remarkably similar (as I’ve come to learn especially over this past year).

Sometimes things just work and there is no further explanation than that.

If you want a relationship or friendship to last be grateful for that person in your life, do things that make you both feel good, share the good and the bad, be understanding and caring, withhold judgement and laugh together.

I’m incredibly grateful to have D in my life and that I was there this weekend able to join in the celebration of her wedding. Here’s to the past 33 years and to many more in the future!

Photo courtesy of: zoerochelle

The Secret To 33 Years Of Friendship is a post from: Serene Journey

“Give it all you got.”

“Go for it.”

“It’s all or nothing.”

The sayings are similar and they all boil down to the same thing – participate fully in what you’re doing. I’d add, but not so far as you drown in it.

When you are working on a project, talking with a friend, or running a marathon – whatever – give it all you’ve got. Participate fully.

Feel – the wind, the sun, the rain, the heat, the cold, the empathy, the compassion.

Sense – the emotion, the fear, the anger, the adrenaline, the wonderment, the joy.

Hear – the cars, the chatter, the thunder, the voice of your companion, the laughter, the sobs of your friend.

Then when you’re done … let it go. Move on. Forget about it.

Good or bad, big or small … don’t drown in it.

See also:
Loosen Your Grip To Get What You Want

How to Fall in Love With Life Again

10 Tips To Alleviate Stress

Photo courtesy of: stuckincustoms

How Not To Drown is a post from: Serene Journey

This post was originally published in December, 2009.

The humble Christmas stocking, a very fond memory of mine and a tradition I grew up with. Every Christmas morning my sisters and I would wake up far too early and raid the stockings that Santa had left for us. There was always really neat and interesting stuff to be found and two things that were always there without fail: a candy cane and a Christmas orange.

It was the best. There was never anything really expensive or elaborate but it was just so much fun. This is a tradition that we are keeping strong with our kids and I hope they will develop fond memories of their own.

Despite this being one of my favorite family traditions, it’s something I have the hardest time doing. What do I put in them?

Over the past couple of years I’ve kept adding ideas to a list to help me out each year when I’m a little low on inspiration. I’ve now compiled my list into the ULTIMATE stocking stuffer guide.

I’ve separated the stuffers into 7 categories which include:

• Beauty
• Gift Certificates
• Snacks
• Crafts
• Practical
• Toys
• Miscellaneous

A few ideas you’ll find inside are as follows:

Foot lotion
Perfume
Cologne
Scented hand soap
Hand sanitizer
Trial size toiletries
Massage
Taxi vouchers
Bus or train tickets
Jar of honey
Microwave popcorn
Jerky
BBQ sauce
CD
DVD
Magazine
Fabric
Book light
Gloves
Scarf
Sushi set
Apron
Candles
Sewing kit
Picture frame
Brag book (photo album with pics already in it)
Bubbles
Travel games
Cards
Figurines
Skipping rope

So keep your loved one in mind when you’re filling their stocking this year. Make them personal and you don’t need to spend a lot of money. Get creative and have fun.

You can download the complete version (pdf) of the Ultimate Stocking Stuffer Guide here or by clicking on the the image under recommended resources on the right.

Photos courtesy of:

Stocking: massdistraction

The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer Guide is a post from: Serene Journey

Today I’m excited to be over at Dietriffic sharing some simple dietary changes that can reduce your caloric intake everyday.

There are so many of us who are looking to live a happier and healthier life. But if you’re anything like me, the idea of going on a diet has you a little less than enthused.

To be successful in weight loss, as with any other big change, starting small, going slow, and being consistent is the key to success.

So instead of starting another fad diet,start small with dietary changes that you can sustain, that you enjoy, and that are good for you.

You can read more at Dietriffic.

Photo courtesy of: ilmungo

10 Small Steps To Cut Calories Everyday is a post from: Serene Journey