The Adult Tantrum

Who do you think of when you hear the words: pouting, moping, and the silent treatment?

When I think of those words I usually think of a toddler, pre-teen or even a teenager who hasn’t got their way. These are pretty typical responses for people who haven’t got the emotional maturity of adults.

But wait, you’re how old?

Yes, tantrums, pouting and emotional blackmail are not just for babies anymore. If you have ever been on the receiving end of an adult tantrum or pout fest then you know what I’m talking about. If it’s your child, parent, or sibling who often behaves in these ways there are some things you can do to cope and not get sucked into their drama.

1. Don’t take it personally. Easier said than done I know. Remember that you can’t control how others act, react or deal with issues. You can only control how you react or respond to what they are doing or how they are treating you. Distance yourself from what’s going on take a breather and then respond in a manner that allows you to stay true to yourself.

2. Don’t be a door mat. People only do what they can get away with. If you allow someone to treat you poorly or disrespect you or loved ones they will continue to do it. As tough as it is you need to confront the person and let them know you will not tolerate their behavior any more. This is best done when you’ve had time to calm down, organize your thoughts and are able to speak calmly, not when you’re in the thick of it.

3. Don’t be afraid to walk away. If you are being treated poorly or disrespected don’t be afraid to walk away. It may be really difficult especially if you don’t want to rock the boat but by walking away you are sending a very clear message that you will not tolerate their behavior. It may be awkward at first but given enough time they’ll get the picture.

4. Don’t be part of the problem. If a three year old was having a tantrum because you said no to him having a cookie and then you give it to him just to quiet him, you end up rewarding him for the tantrum. Same principle applies to the adult tantrum. If you comply with their “demands” or bend over backwards to get them to stop pouting you are rewarding their behavior. It’s easy to say but much harder to do. No one likes to be ignored by someone they love and most of us would do anything to get them to talk to us again. But by doing that “anything” you are telling the other person that it’s okay to manipulate me to get what you want.

If you’ve been putting up with someone’s adult tantrums for a while then it’s pretty obvious that you love them dearly. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t tolerate it from a co-worker or casual acquaintance. In any event you need to stand up for yourself if you are to put an end to this behavior.

A note to those of you having adult tantrums, be they on the road in your car, at the airport or in line at customer service, the tantrums are really unbecoming.

See also:

Get Rich, Stay Rich – Emotional Bank Accounts

How To Be The Person You Want To Be

Being A Rebel: Is It Killing Your Happiness?

Photo courtesy of: jumer