Seek Advice and Find Success
Firstly, I would like to thank all of you for hanging in there with me these past couple of weeks. My Grannie passed away and it’s been really tough to deal with. We were very close but time heals all and it’s already getting a bit easier. So thank you for chatting amongst yourselves the last little while and sticking with me.
Okay and now, Seek Advice and Find Success. This is one of my two contributions to Mark Foo’s fabulous free e-book The 77 Traits Of Highly Successful People.
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If you want something done right, best to do it yourself. Right? I know I’ve said that a few times in my life so far and let me just tell you it rarely, if ever, works out. There are so many facets to subjects, places, people and things how could you possibly know everything about everything? You may be very intelligent but don’t let your ego get in the way of true success.
Asking for help, advice, feedback or even other people’s opinions can help you succeed in ways you never thought possible. Just think of all the successful people in your life–did they truly get to where they are now completely on their own? I doubt it. It may not be immediately obvious but take a close look at their network. It’s not only their direct collaborators it’s also the people they bounced ideas off of over a cup of coffee, someone who taught them how to program or start a new website, authors of books they read that helped them write the winning grant proposal.
No one is successful on their own.
How to find helpful advice
1.Evaluate. Take a moment and look at who you are currently seeking advice from. Are they in any position to be offering you advice on your current project or idea? It will be most unhelpful if, for example, you are working on publishing a book and seek advice from someone who has never done it themselves or hasn’t got experience in the writing or publishing arena.
2. Swallow your pride. Asking for help does not imply you’re stupid, inferior or somehow less of a person. In fact, I, along with many people I know, consider those that ask questions to be smarter. Why? Because by asking questions or asking for help you are not afraid to admit when you don’t know something. It’s also smart to show you are willing to learn from and listen to other people’s opinions and experiences.
3. Give to receive. I would find it a bit odd having a complete stranger come up to me asking for my advice or help on a particular topic. If I was particularly busy I would likely decline the request. Establishing a personal connection with someone first, is an important step in getting good help and advice for the duration of your journey. Give help to receive help. By giving where you can initially you are more likely to receive quality help when the time comes. The reciprocity effect is huge. Even if you can’t help them specifically finding someone else who can is in itself very helpful.
“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?’” – Brian Tracy
4. Have clarity. Give some thought to what specifically you want advice on before approaching anyone. People are busy, don’t waste their time or yours by sitting down with nothing prepared to talk about. Have an outline of where you are or what you hope to accomplish as that can really help get the creative juices flowing.
5. Be appreciative. Be grateful if you ask for something and you are given it. Show them that you are thankful for the help with a sincere thank you. People will be more likely to help you again in the future when you genuinely show your appreciation for the time and effort they spent on helping you. It’s tough to keep putting yourself out there and helping someone who has shown no appreciation for what you’ve done for them. A simple thank you would suffice.
6. Evaluate. This is the same as the first point only this time you are evaluating the advice not the person giving it. Evaluate the advice, feedback or criticism once you have been given it. Are you able to look at it objectively and take it on board? Not every bit of advice you’ve been given will be applicable and that’s okay. BUT don’t be too quick to dismiss an idea just because it’s not what you want to hear or doesn’t fit with your grand plan. Constructive criticism is good as it can add clarity and eliminate potential frustrations.
Asking for help is not a bad thing; we have all done it at some point. No one expects us to have all the answers. In fact if you come across as someone who does have all the answers you may not be looked upon very favorably; nobody likes a know-it-all. To be successful you need to be willing ask for help, feedback, advice etc. you cannot do it alone.
Elsewhere:
43 Simple Ways To Simplify Your Life – Zen Family Habits
How To Fall in Love With Your Job Again – My guest post at Dumb Little Man
Get Kids’ Clutter Under Control – My guest post at MummyZen
Photo courtesy of: MyDigitalSLR
12 Responses to “Seek Advice and Find Success”
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So sorry to hear about your grannie. Hope you are feeling ok and I think you’ve done an amazing job of keeping your blogs going during such a difficult time.
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I think asking for help feels harder to do as we get older but as you’ve pointed out, it’s a great tool and we can learn so much from those around us. Having someone else’s perspective, insight and experience can save us a lot of time and struggle.
Mummy Zen´s last blog ..Lessons from ‘The Age of Stupid’
Welcome back, Sherri. We missed you! I’m glad that you took some time off, though…it’s important to take some time and honor the person and the relationship you shared with them. You have my continued care and support, my friend.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..My Dream Job…Really?
Welcome back Sherri!, I’m sorry to hear about your loss, still it is a natural part of life and I know you will understand that even if your grannie passed away, she left within you the best she had. Treasure that.
Everyone will agree with me on this one, you have the whole support of this community, we got your back!
I’ll be sure to check the book, it sounds wonderful!
Alejandro Reyes´s last blog ..One of those days…
Thank you so much you guys you really are the best!
Sherri,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and family will be in my prayers.
Congratulations on your contributions as a guest blogger and e-book contributor.
Zengirl´s last blog ..You are richer than you think!
Hey Sherri -
I went through a difficult time some months back. My father-in-law passed, and I and my family were there when it happened. He had been ill and I really felt relieved for him, but it was still tough.
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I wish that I had more people to ask questions of. In fact, I love this interchange we have on blogs, because it is a great way to learn from people that I’ve come to respect.
Some years back I lost my fear of admitting that I don’t understand something. The more I learn the less I truly understand.
It’s fun to help others – or at least to share my experiences. And the more I do that, the better I feel. Whether I actually help anyone I have no idea. But I sure do appreciate it when others pass on their experiences and wisdom to me!
Great post as always! Thanks for the opportunity to comment!
All the best,
Hugh
Hugh DeBurgh – The Passionate Warrior´s last blog ..Snowflakes
It is always great for me to hear another persons take on an issue. It is amazing, how much clarity you get when some insight comes from another person (even when you, yourself know it)
Sometimes we know it, but we need clarity. At other times we don’t really know about something so we need a new take on the matter at hand. In all cases, good advice is valuable and our ego should not be allowed to come in the way of what we genuinely feel and think is good for us… where ever that advise comes from.
Thanks for this post.
Christopher Kabamba´s last blog ..Why the Science of Success Theory is Flawed
This post couldn’t be more true Sherri! We can’t find success on our own…we need to establish connections, learn from others, and work together to achieve our goals. As Buddha said, the nature of reality is interconnectedness. Any idea that we have a fixated and totally separate self is an illusion.
Steven | The Emotion Machine´s last blog ..The Uses And Abuses Of Setting Deadlines
Our pride, together with our ego are two of the most powerful hindrance that keep us from seeking advice. It is wise to accept the fact that we cannot do it on our own. There are some thing we don’t know, thus we need to learn from others.
Asking for help is very beneficial if we allow ourselves to.
Hi Sherri,
I haven’t been here for a while and I’m sad that the first thing I hear about coming back here is that your grannie has passed away. I’m very sorry about your loss and I hope you’re feeling better now.
Thank you so much for mentioning my eBook. I really appreciate it. And thank you once again for your generous contributions to help make the eBook possible. I am truly grateful.
As always, you give great advice and I especially like that you mention to take a look at who you’re taking advice from.
I find that too many people are taking advice from the wrong people. I’ve seen people asking for investment advice from financial advisers who’ve never made money from any investments. Most financial advisers are just salespeople, not investors. This is like asking a golf equipment salesperson to teach you how to play golf.
And I’ve also seen aspiring entrepreneurs asking advice from people who’ve never run a business. It’s like you’re asking a non-golfer to teach you how to play golf. Isn’t that weird?
I certainly hope people would start to realize that they need to seek advice from people who’ve walk the walk, and not just anyone they can grab hold of.
Cheers~
Mark
Yes, we really are all interconnected, Steven. I have asked Sherri’s advice, in the past, and she has always been gracious and giving!
I just finished the anime series Avatar: The Last Airbender from Netflix. I loved it. It made me feel so good! And you know what, it was all about interconnectedness.
Sending love to you, Sherri!
Seeking help seems daunting, especially when we put so much stock on pride and think that in order to feel the fruits of success, we have to do it alone. I’m glad there are tips like these!
Sometimes, we just have to realize that we can’t do everything by ourselves. It may be unbelievable for some, but seeking help doesn’t stop our lungs from breathing or our blood from pumping. There is definitely life and success after asking for help, given that we ask from the right people and evaluate the pros and cons before taking action.
Of course, it’s quid pro quo. The more we seek to help others, the more we’ll be rewarded with help from others. It doesn’t hurt to be grateful, appreciative and return the favor every once in a while.
P.S. Read on http://budurl.com/kucn and discover how you could seek and offer help and information, as well as gain success in business with effective communication.
Teresa´s last blog ..We’ve Come A Long Way