There are countless articles, books, websites and blogs that touch on the area of personal development, self improvement or whatever you want to call it.
It’s encouraging that there are so many people wanting to make positive changes in their lives and share it with the masses.
However, there are also a lot of platitudes out there and I’m guilty of writing a few of them here as well. But there are some things we aren’t told either because people want to be nice, they are trying to remain positive or maybe just don’t get it. So here are a few things that you may be unaware of or maybe just need a bit of a reminder.
1. No one’s life is perfect. As perfect as some people’s lives appear to be, I guarantee you that they too have their fair share of blemishes. They may seem to have it all. Large home, 2 cars, good paying jobs and they’re always entertaining large groups of people (if that what having it all really means). Perfect right? Or is it? Are they in debt up to their eyeballs and living well beyond their means? Maybe. If so, maybe the financial pressures are causing strain on their relationship. There is usually a lot more than meets the eye and what may appear to be perfect is rarely so.
2. Life is never smooth sailing. Life likes to throw you curve balls every now and then. This is normal and remember the world isn’t out to get you. You can think of these bumps in the road as tests to see how badly you want what’s on the other side. There are a lot of things that are out of your control. My advice is to go with the flow, learn from these hurdles, re-evaluate and change course if need be.
3. Nobody likes a know-it-all. Seriously. There is nothing worse than getting trapped in a conversation with someone who thinks they know everything about everything. I’m sure we’ve all met someone like this and I’m sure you couldn’t wait to escape. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know something. Refrain from blathering on about something you really don’t have a solid understanding of. That old saying that bullshit baffles brains … not really true.
4. Humility is under rated. Some of the nicest people I know are also the most humble people I know. They have done great things with their lives and achieved great things but you would never know it. They are not the first ones to bring up any of their successes and in fact downplay a lot of what they have done. These are the people that have every right to brag and maybe be a bit arrogant, yet they remain humble.
5. Life is more about the journey than the destination. This has the makings of a platitude but hear me out. So you have a destination in mind perhaps it’s being debt free, moving to a new country, or retiring early. A little secret – no one cares as much about this end goal as you do. Once you get to the finish line if you look back and think hmmm…well that was no fun, was it really worth it? If you had taken it slower or viewed things even a tiny bit differently, maybe you could have come out the other end having learned more, or having had more fun. Sacrifice is good when it moves you closer to where you want to be but don’t sacrifice so much such that you don’t enjoy the journey there.
6. People dislike complainers. This is a biggie for me. I am convinced that some people complain just to annoy me, for something to do, or they simply enjoy complaining. When people complain about something but fail to present options on how to solve the problem I tend to get a bit frustrated. If you have no potential solutions try going with the flow and take things as they come. If something is really and truly bugging you try and come up with a few different solutions as to how to solve it. It’s so much more empowering to actually do something rather than simply complain about it.
7. Nobody knows everything about everything. This is along the same lines as point three. Granted, there are some people who are very switched on, highly intelligent and know a lot about about a lot of different things, but don’t feel you need to be one of them especially if you’re not. People in general can tell when someone truly knows what they’re talking about and when they are just trying to be a know-it-all. Be genuine and don’t try to live up to something that it is impossible.
8. Big rewards usually come after taking a big risk. You’ve likely heard of this in terms of investing. If you invest your money in stocks that are incredibly volatile (high highs and low lows) and are able to ride out the low periods you will likely come out further ahead than if you invested in something “safe”. Same goes for life rewards. If you are willing to put yourself out there, take a huge risk and make some sacrifices you may see very large rewards. This usually means stepping out of your comfort zone and taking chances and the rewards can certainly be well worth it.
9.When something doesn’t make sense you likely don’t have all the facts. This I’ve learned from experience. When you don’t understand what the heck is going on or if someone’s actions just aren’t makings sense, it’s likely you don’t have all the information. Once everything comes out or you are told exactly what is going on it all seems to come together. So before you jump to conclusions and start taking things personally try giving people the benefit of the doubt and extend a bit of patience and understanding.
10. Your turn. What other things do you think to be true but are often glossed over or rarely talked about? I love the honesty.
See also:
How To Kill Your Disappointment
Disorganized? Blame It On The Universe!
Photo courtesy of: Erica Marshall
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Comments
WELL said, Sherri. Well said, indeed. I wish I had something insightful or useful to add, but I don’t. You covered it pretty well!
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Acceptance
I think that all the efforts of people to share ways to improve their lives are great, and sometimes are a wonderful way to start. But sometimes what we need to learn first is to accept who we are.
When we understand who we are, what we like and what we want to do, we are able to make real changes, and some changes doesn’t really matter at all, like saying: “I’m going to eat only real food” it is a wonderful choice, but I bet eating a pizza or a hamburger won’t be bad from time to time.
I think everything rounds to trying to archive perfection. Such thing is impossible. It’s like a donkey going after the carrot hung in front of him by a guy who wants him to move. He will never get the carrot nor we can archive perfection.
O.O I guess I got carried away. Wonderful post Sherri!. =)
Alejandro Reyes´s last blog ..Monday unfolds…
Great list! I too would put the idea of “people don’t like complainers” at the top of my own list. I think my biggest pet peeve in life is hearing people sit around and complain about things when they could instead use that energy to Do Something Productive!
Dustin | Engaged Marriage´s last blog ..Ask the Community: What Does an “Extraordinary Marriage” Mean to You?
Interesting stuff. Hey nice thing about complainers and all the people that are different is it makes life interesting. If we all were the same, damn I think i would want to get off this planet
To me personal/self development is nothing more than self expression.
If a person wants to stand on their head, go without sleep, hold their breath, walk naked down a road, travel to 100 countries to figure out something. Hey more power to them, but is it required by all? for people to be fully engaged in self development? nah
Self development to me is living, living in the ups and downs, moving with the ebb and flow of life and finding my own rhythm while at the same time knowing its not the same as another, and it doesn’t need to be.
There will be 10 steps to a better this and a better that.. long after we have left this planet.
Jon | Adventures of the Fearless´s last blog ..Interview with Dr Joe Vitale – Operation YES
I would add nobody’s kids are perfect. As a young parent it seemed like all my friend’s children were perfect and mine were troubled.
My kids are now wonderful adults. Comparing is one of the greatest human sufferings and we bring it on ourselves!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..The Time Of My Life
“Nobody likes a know-it-all.”
I didn’t figure this one out until I was almost out of high school! It comes from a misguided need for respect powered by immense insecurity. Or they have something they need to prove.
Either way, steer clear. The time spent massaging someone else’s ego just isn’t worth it. You could be doing something way more awesome!
Hey Sherri!
I love honesty too!
Yes, people want a pep talk. And that’s good. I definitely get more reactions from readers with the feel good posts.
But if we really want to help folks, we have to deliver the whole package.
For me Courage is key to getting the life you want. And Fear is a tough one to overcome for so many people today. It takes a lot of Courage to take on life and win. It’s not easy. Facing fear is uncomfortable.
I see so much fear all around us. The media and government just add to it. The world is complex enough as it is without Chicken Little continuously yelling “The sky is falling” at the same time.
There is a bit of panic out there, too, especially among the older folks who may not understand what exciting new worlds are about to open up for all of us.
This is why I believe that the work that we are doing is so critical. It seems like we are all preaching to the choir, and perhaps we are at times. But the truth is that the world desperately needs all of us right now to deliver a message that the good life is just a few key decisions away. And, generally speaking, the only things holding those decisions back are ignorance and fear.
We can address the ignorance, by enlightening people as best we can. But only they can provide the courage. I believe that many will, if we succeed at doing our part.
I put this out there now – is there something more effective that we could be doing to reach the world with our messages?
I don’t have delusions of saving the world, but the world needs all of us, nevertheless, as messengers of hope amid the sirens of chaos.
What do you think?
Thanks again for your great blog!
All the best,
Hugh
Hugh DeBurgh – The Passionate Warrior´s last blog ..The 5th Secret to Getting the Life You Want
hmm… complaining about complainers?
without complainers there might not be comedy. there’s a place for nearly everyone. =)
i think too much comparison is dangerous. it’s nice sometimes to take a good look around but not to get too involved in what we and others are lacking unless we’re looking to resolve.
i also think it’s important to respect people in your life for who they are and just let them be (themselves).
Sherri,
Great post as usual! My #10 would be that “Things Will Never Make You Happy”. I have been fortunate to be able to get the things that I thought would bring me the happiness and peace I was looking for. Boy, was I wrong. I’m sure someone told me at some point in my life that “stuff” will never be the source of happiness, but I decided to not listen and go figure it out for myself. Real and lasting happiness is about the relationships you have with yourself and the ones you love. Retail therapy sounds great, but happiness isn’t available at the mall.
Thanks for sharing your gift with the world!
Peter
Peter Mis´s last blog ..The Single Most Important Life Skill You Can Possess Today
My favorite quote ties into your truths #2 & #5. “Life is an adventure!” This is neither a positive or negative statement, adventure is neutral to me. There are the ups and downs and even though life is really very simple in the big picture, it’s tough when it comes down to the details. Do your best (by your own definitions) and live as gently as possible. Life isn’t black and white, mostly gray but trying to figure out your own shades can be tough sometimes. It will be okay.
Sherri,
No one is perfect? Awww…Now I am sad! Joking aside, this is good list;
My #10, would be to add :
Best things in our life are not “things” at all, they are people, family and friends.
Zengirl´s last blog ..Life balance: 6 Critical areas
I have to agree with Peter Mis and ZenGirl on the “things” not making people happy. I thought life was all about a designer purse and a luxury car, and that then I would be happy once I got those things. Did these things make me happy? Temporarily yes…long term, no. Sure I still get a sense of pride from them, that I have worked hard and earned nice things…but I would gladly take that giant car payment and swap it out for a weekend on the Maine coast!! It has taken me a long time to get to this point, as I have always been materialistic, but it has been sort of cathartic to evolve and realize that they are just things…and that true happiness lies in people and experiences that we love!