Loosen Your Grip To Get What You Want
In theory letting go is easy but in practice it’s a lot more difficult. What do we have to let go of? Why should we let go of it? How do we let go of it?
I’m not talking about letting go of past hurts, wrong doings, feuds or other wise, although these are important choices to make too.
What I am referring to is loosening your grip on the future, what you think should happen, indeed what you want to happen. The tighter we hang on to something and try to force it (after all it is what we want) the tougher the end point seems to reach. When we relax and let go a bit the thing we wanted so badly seems to just happen.
My example: Creating a positive home environment.
That’s what I wanted and I had a particular vision of what I thought it should be like. I wanted it so badly that I put a lot of planning into how it was going to happen. I tried for a long time and I was never really happy with the results. It should be more, it should be better, it should be …
Trying to control, structure and manipulate can actually cause anxiety, tension and stress. We want things to be just so and when they aren’t we’re disappointed and usually quite hard on ourselves.
Try letting go. I don’t mean give up, sit back and do nothing. I mean don’t try so hard. Don’t try to force it. Instead, try going with the flow more and taking each day as it comes. Don’t hold yourself to some ideal in your head. Do what matters now, today, in this moment that keeps you in line with your ultimate destination.
So what happened when I let go of trying to create a positive home environment? I was a lot calmer. I now focus on what’s going on in the moment and not on what I think should be done. Our positive home environment comes out of that, since I get less worked up, anxious, and stressed. Life is closer to what I wanted and what I thought it should be, but it’s not exactly my ideal. And that’s okay.
Life has a way of throwing you curve balls, and the more you can go with the flow or roll with the punches, the better off you’ll be.
Let go and things happen.
See also:
Stand Your Ground, But Only On The Important Stuff
Life Sucks And Then You Choose
Photo courtesy of: annais
13 Responses to “Loosen Your Grip To Get What You Want”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Leave A Comment...
My eBook
Recommended Resources
My Other Sites
Well said, Sherri. I have a phrase which I like to apply to my own situations, which is “divorce yourself from the outcome”. So often we get so entangled in wanting a certain outcome, a certain thing, that it’s like a bad marriage. You keep fighting and fighting, but not making any real progress. So, the solution is simple: divorce yourself from the outcome. Surrender, and in doing so, win.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Paying It Forward
I’ve been going through the same stuff myself. Learning to let go of expectations and wanting to control the future. Sometimes it can be hard, but once you start doing it more and more, it becomes second nature. Awesome!
Henri @ the Wake Up Cloud´s last blog ..Why You Shouldn’t Quit Your Job, Yet
Surrender is the scariest thing to do, yet I can tell you the biggest leaps in my life always came after I let go. Like the marriage that wasn’t working really. And my secure, well-paying job. Or even my home country (I’m an immigrant).
Smiles,
Akemi Gaines
AKemi – Yes to Me´s last blog ..The Ultimate Productivity Tip
Hi Sherri, this is great advice, and works well to when it comes to dealing with others, especially those we care about. We get very attached on what we want for them, what we think they “should” be doing, the choices they “should” make. Like you mentioned in the example of your home environment, holding on to these things actually causes more stress and inhibits our joy, not just in things we want for ourselves but in our relationships, too.
Cheers,
Miche
Miche | Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Is Passion Necessary for a Meaningful Life?
So true, Sherri, and so well said! Now if I can just let go!
We feel so much pain when life, or the people we love, don’t meet our expectations.
It was the hardest part about coming to terms with my relationship with my father. My expectations (though reasonable and normal) were getting in the way of my healing.
This is a fantastic outlook on something that can affect almost every aspect of our lives.
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..House Sitters Gone Wild!
Thank you all for taking time to comment.
@ Jay – I love the thought of divorcing yourself from the outcome. That’s such a great way to put it!
@ Miche – Those “shoulds” can be very dangerous. I like to think there are no “shoulds” there just is.
@ Hayden – I’m so happy to hear that by letting go of expectations you were able to move yourself forward. A long journey I’m sure but it sounds as though you are well on your way. xo
Thanks for the suggestions and reminder! So true! Especially during busy times, it seems hard to let go, but with a conscious effort, doing so has such a positive influence. Thanks for your thoughts!
I agree the “shoulds” are dangeous and equally dangeous is the “if only”…always focusing on what could have been done better blinds us from seeing the wonderful things that are happening right in front of our face!
I have been thinking a lot about having a positive and peaceful home environment (as much as you can with 4 kids).
I’m going to try managing my expectation, and capturing the good!
Thanks!
Meeks´s last blog ..In the kitchen: Christmas Pudding Puffs
I have learned that what I desire as an outcome is normally a lot smaller than what I am achieving when I let go and go with the flow.
What I can foresee what is possible is so much more limited than what IS possible.
I have learned it is in my best interest to let go of the end result and to do my best in my daily do-ing.
What shows up then is usually going beyond my imagination.
I now have a different conversation about how I go about achieving desires and as you say, Sherri, it makes the journey a lot more fun.
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Context is King.
I so needed to hear this today. Thank you!
Loosen your grip to get what you want is a great thing for me to think about when it comes to my future. When I live in the present moment things flow. Thanks for a great reminder.
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Traveling By Train: Lessons On Going With Life’s Flow
When we release we are in-turn released. Very insightful post! Thanks for creating and sharing!!!
Merry Christmas,
C.
Cordieb´s last blog ..Christ was about LOVE, PERIOD. All other agendas we may have are our own