Happiness Lies In The Lack Of Choice
I’ve always been terrible at making choices. I get so caught up in all the options and details, bells and whistles that I soon start worrying about making the wrong choice or one that is suboptimal.
What happened to the good old days of only having to choose between a handful of products at most? Back then the biggest discerning features were things like color or size but the underlying technology was by and large the same.
Walking through a store today can be incredibly overwhelming. I find shopping for electronics is the worst. Take TVs for example, there are not only a huge number of brand names to choose from, there are a ton of choices within each brand as well. Size, shape, color, resolution, plug-ins available, technology and whole bunch of additional “features” the advertisers try to convince us that we need.
When I’m presented with many choices I freeze. I don’t know what to do so I do nothing. Looking at this a little more I realize that this just isn’t rational. What happens if I do make the wrong choice? Nothing really, worst case I have to start again from the beginning and it may take a bit more time and be a little more costly than I would have liked. Usually, the outcome from making the wrong choice isn’t the end of the world.
Why choice is bad
Initially having a myriad of options sounds like a wonderful thing. You can choose the exact thing you want and happiness is all but guaranteed, right?
Wrong. Well for me anyway and a lot of other people I know.
Having a ton of things to choose from only ensures your disappointment and unhappiness when you eventually realize that what you chose was suboptimal. In reality no one will fault you for this, you truly are your own worst enemy. You’ll kick yourself repeatedly when you look back and see that the one right next to the one you bought was better. Ain’t hindsight grand?
But your unhappiness doesn’t just start after you bought the product. Your unhappiness actually begins with the decision making process itself. This is because you’re anticipating the disappointment with your suboptimal choice even before you make it. Gotta love those catch 22′s.
It’s like going to the movie theater and having to decide which movie to watch. From the 10 on the board and after much humming and hawing you choose one and head in. The previews start rolling for all the other movies you could have gone to see and you find yourself saying “That one looks really good, I knew we should have gone to that one.”
Thing is with fewer choices we’re likely to be a happier overall. This is completely counter-intuitive to the society we currently live in. If we were to cut down the number of choices available to us, initially we may not find it all that appealing. But in the long run I’m sure we would be happier since what we would be fairly confident that what we chose was better than the other one that was available.
I am getting better at accepting the decisions I make even if they are suboptimal or not the absolute best in hindsight. I try to be more accepting of the choices I do make (good or bad) and take each one as a learning opportunity. No decision will ever be perfect. Our knowledge changes, our circumstances change and our situation changes.
Be grateful for what you have, the choices you about to make and learn from your mistakes when you can. Getting caught up in the would-a, could-a, should-a’s of life will certainly lead to disappointment and unhappiness.
So those are some of my thoughts on the downside of choice. What do you think?
See also:
Keeping It Short And Sweet: Making Temporary Decisions
Who Me? Worry? You Bet! – Part 2
The Grass Is Always Green Right Under Your Feet
Photo courtesy of: Evil Erin
10 Responses to “Happiness Lies In The Lack Of Choice”
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There are studies that completely back up what you are saying. This really ties in to where I’ve been mentally lately, especially with “analysis paralysis”. Simplifying is a great confidence booster.
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..Rock the Best Calendar EVER!
Sherri, I completely agree…especially that it causes us to just shut down sometimes. Especially in areas like health, when we get so much information thrown at us (much of it conflicting and complicated–done on purpose!), it is so understandable to simply go into overload mode.
I also think with so many choices, the responsibility of the companies to offer high quality services or products begins to wane…easier just to keep folks shifting from one thing to the next in order to find something that works instead of holding a smaller number of companies accountable for their products or service.
Excellent post!
@ Hayden – Analyzing and never acting on it is not only frustrating for us but for those around us as well. You hear things like “oh just do it already!” Accepting that I’m my own worst enemy and that not every decision is going to be perfect has helped a lot.
@ Lisa – I agree with the waning quality of some products. Everything is more disposable now. It seems our societies attention span is pretty short as we jump around from shiny object to shiny object. Thanks for your comments!
I have come to this realization while computer shopping. Every computer I’ve had has been a hand-me-down from friends who upgraded, but I am not looking to buy a new one for myself and the choices are staggering. Every time I research different options I get confused, then angry with my ignorance, then defensive…and wind up not deciding on anything because I just can’t determine what will affordably meet my needs best. I hate the way that shopping for electronics makes me feel.
Great post! I often get very overwhelmed when I have tons of choices, even though it seems like they should be a good thing. Glad you wrote about this!
Positively Present´s last blog ..kicking ass with kindness
Sherri, I have the same problem. Shopping is torture for me, because I am so indecisive! I may go to a mall only once or twice a year, if that much, because I suffer from severe sensory overload.
Absolutely agree, modern life can be overwhelming with so many options to choose from and so much time wasted trying to work out which is the best one for us!
I remember returning to the UK after 15 months in Africa and going to the supermarket. I spent over an hour in the place before leaving empty handed. Too much choice. My local shop in Zimbabwe sold only dried fish, milk powder, soap and the odd loaf of bread, tomato or egg if you were lucky.
Still, we are lucky to have options for things that some people never had in their life times and others still won’t – like contraception and medical care.
This is my LIFE. And being a perfectionist makes it so much worse. I agonize over every little choice and detail, and then inevitably, say “I should have gone with the other choice.” And then I just linger on that and am never happy. It causes me a lot of stress, headaches and especially MONEY!!
I must redecorate my rooms every few years…constantly chasing that perfect room.
And once I get there, after a year or so…it is no longer perfect…there is a new perfect.
It is a vicious cycle and one I hope to break…so keep the ideas coming!!
It has been said having 2 or maximum 3 choices, makes you feel in control a little (however it may be in reality) but when you have too many choices like at simple coffee at starbucks, I freeze and can not make a decision.
Zengirl´s last blog ..How to resue leftover halloween candies
I agree–the quantity and variety of things out there can be overwhelming. One of the ways I cope is to avoid recreational shopping–if I don’t know something exists, do I really need it?
My other secret is to tell my husband what I need and make him find it/decide which one is best. He loves that kind of thing. Me, I just want a few options and to keep it simple…my life is already complicated enough without having to do research and second-guess myself if I’ve made the right purchase. It’s just another time-stealer.