Who Me? Worry? You Bet!

I am definitely a worrier, but I’m getting better with each passing year. I used to worry a lot and there was nothing too big or too small, I worried about all of it. My weight, my clothes, being wrong, appearing stupid, my health, what others thought of me etc. My worrying didn’t stop with me though, I even worried on behalf of others (i.e. my family and my friends). If any of them were going through a tough time or having health issues I would worry. A LOT.

Here are a few things that I have learned so far about worrying; why I do it and why it’s no good.

Why do I worry?

This isn’t a simple question. I suppose I worry when I think I may say or do the wrong thing resulting in disapproval from others. I also worry when having to make a major decision. I’m worried that what I choose or decide on will be less than optimal and I’ll end up kicking myself for not waiting, doing more research or making a different choice.

But mostly, I worry when I’m scared and I think something bad is going to happen. The key word in that last sentence is think. Nothing bad has happened yet but I think it might. When I worry I feel I keep the situation under control and somehow reduce the likelihood of the bad actually happening. Sounds ridiculous now that I actually write it out but it makes perfect sense and is totally logical at the time of worrying.

I feel that if I imagine the worst possible outcome to a situation and play through all the possible scenarios, I’ll be better prepared to handle anything that comes. If it IS the worst possible outcome then I’ve already prepared myself for it mentally and if it’s not then I will surely feel a sense of relief. Win-win right?

WRONG!

Why worrying is no good

1. Worrying can make you sick. Worrying usually doesn’t stop at just thoughts in your head it usually manifests itself as physical symptoms as well. If you worry too much and you could find yourself suffering from headaches, insomnia, anxiety, depression, nausea, fatigue and tension. You can become irritable, sensitive, and blow up for no apparent reason. I’ve had all of these symptoms at some point or another in my life and it’s really no fun!

2. Worrying robs you of time. The biggest revelation I’ve had, which may seem obvious to a lot of people, is that worrying robs you of time. I spent so much time and energy focusing on the bad possible outcomes that I neglected to enjoy all the good along the way. I got so wrapped up in what could be as opposed to what is and have possibly missed out on some really great stuff.

3. Worrying is unproductive. Worrying doesn’t help anything, it is not preventative and it is a completely unproductive way to spend your time. No matter how much you worry about something you won’t change the outcome simply by worrying. It can become all consuming and rob you of many of the joys life has to offer. What’s more is all that worrying that’s supposed to prepare you for the worst possible outcome…it doesn’t actually prepare you at all. Instead of living through the horrible outcome once you’re actually getting to experience it twice or more.

4. Worrying causes you to lose perspective. When you worry you have the tendency to lose all perspective of the situation. Things get blown out of all proportion and take on a life of their own. In some cases you may actually give more weight or attention to something that is rather insignificant like what clothes to wear or what computer to buy. In the end it doesn’t REALLY matter.

5. Worrying can make you very unhappy. Worrying doesn’t make anyone happy and I know first hand that it’s not a good place to be. It’s stressful and when focusing on all the possible bad that can happen you leave no room for any of the good. Even when you’re presented with things that are good you can’t help but think of all the bad that may go along with it. As an example, your kid has decided to move away to college, how exciting what a great opportunity! BUT wait! Will he be okay? How will he find time to study when he has to take care of his dorm room and himself? Will he eat okay? How is he going to afford it? What if he doesn’t like it? and on and on and on… You’ve now taken what was a very happy and positive moment and diluted it with pointless worry and negativity. As a parent, I understand that you will be concerned on behalf of your children but it shouldn’t be to their detriment or to the detriment of your relationship.

Some people worry about small things, others only when they are presented with a really bad situation, and others worry so much that when they truly have nothing to worry about they make things up. Whatever group you belong to there is hope and there are things you can do to try to worry less.

I’ve split this post into two parts as it ended up being pretty long. In part 2 I write about strategies for coping with worry and how to work towards stopping it. Enjoy.

See also:

Do You React Or Respond?

It’s All In HOW You Say It

Get Rich, Stay Rich – Emotional Bank Accounts

10 Tips To Alleviate Stress

Tips To Enjoy Life

Photo courtesy of: Simon Pais-Thomas