I think a lot of people recognize the value in responding as opposed to reacting, but don’t have a step-by-step method for actually learning to respond in the moment.

My strategy is similar: I’ve trained an ‘acceptance reflex’ in myself. The first thing I do (except when I’m already being really reactive) is just say to myself “Ok, so this is what’s happening. What should I do?”

“Ok, what should I do?” is always a helpful question to ask oneself, but I think our culture trains us to ask “What should have happened?” or “Who’s to blame?” more often.
[rq=2139,0,blog][/rq]How to Get Comfortable Not Knowing

@ PP – I’m glad you like it. It can be a slow process shifting from reacting to responding but it’s important to at least work towards it. Good luck

@ Lisis – Yeah kids definitely give you ample opportunity to work on this one. Like I say it can be a slow process but I too am getting there. Breathing is good and then going through the questions just gives me a bit of distance and time to think.

@ Roger – It’s good that you are good at apologizing that’s huge! I agree that anger can be an appropriate response some of the time but getting over it and moving becomes even more important if that’s the case. Talking things through and genuinely trying to understand the other persons position is what is currently working the best for me. Thanks for your comment!

@ Kaushik – Very nicely said! Thank you for that and it makes me happy to know that you enjoyed the post.

@ Megan – It’s always tough when we act in a way that makes us a little less than proud. Reacting often leaves us in this position but with time, patience and practice you can make responding your primary method of dealing with tricky situations.

@ manish – Welcome! Thanks so much for your comment I’m glad you liked the post. There are very few things worth ruining relationships over. I hope you are able to work towards putting distance between you and a particular situation, allowing you to respond in a manner that’s respectful to everyone.

@ Mark – It’s great that you are at least aware of it and are making an effort to be more self aware. There are a lot of people that simply fly off the handle and then wonder why everyone’s ticked. I wish you the best!

@ Paul Maurice Martin – Welcome! Beautifully said! That’s exactly right. Once you say something you’re not able to take it back so pausing and thinking it through first is great advice! Thanks for your comment.

I absolutely agree with you that “I can’t help it” or “I’m just hot headed” doesn’t cut it. I’ve been so guilty of the latter cos’ I’m pretty quick tempered. I haven’t found the remedy for it yet, but I do try to assert more self-control nowadays.

Cheers~

Mark

Mark Foo | TheBigDreamer.com’s last blog post..My New Blog Tagline: Personal Development For Big Dreamers

wish to learn something from todays post,so wish me good luck.

Manish.

Megan at Simple Kids’s last blog post..Connecting with Nature: Challenge #1