Being A Rebel: Is It Killing Your Happiness?
If you’re told to do something you won’t. If you’re told NOT to do something you do it wholeheartedly. Sound familiar? If this sounds nothing like you then you probably at least know someone who is this way.
Being disobedient, going against a common thought or standard way of doing something can be a good thing. It can often result in being exposed to new and exciting opportunities from which you can learn and grow. Being rebellious can also expose you to a whole new way of thinking and get you out of your comfort zone where you can potentially accomplish amazing things.
Where rebelling isn’t necessarily a good thing is when you are doing it out of spite. When you do it to show people that “you’re the boss” and they can’t tell you what to do, even when you know deep down that you should do it.
How rebelling can lead to unhappiness
1. Doing it just because you’re told not to. This may appear as a great way to show people that no one controls you, that you are in charge and make your own choices. But doing something only because you were advised against it is also foolish. Depending on who the advice or warning came from it could be purely out of love and concern so jumping in could cause you great harm.
2. Not doing something just because you’re told to do it. This is simply the opposite of the above point. Think about it, how often has someone said to you “Oh you should really try (fill in the blank)” and you turn it down because it was their suggestion to you and not your idea alone. What’s worse is if you had thought of giving something a try, have the same thing suggested to you but now refuse to do it as it would appear as though you are simply following their advice. Who ends up hurting in that situation? I’ll give you a hint…it’s NOT hurting them!
3. Some ideas are good even if they aren’t your own. Some people have good great ideas, they really do! Just because they’re not your own doesn’t mean they are bad or not worth pursuing. Don’t be too quick to dismiss the idea of someone else simply because it’s not your own. This is in fact rather foolish, especially if it can result in a very positive experience for you. Rebelling in this way will surely contribute to your unhappiness.
Suggestions for living happily
1. Mind your own business. Really, don’t get so wrapped up in what other’s will think or how you may be perceived. I can assure you that most of them aren’t sitting around snickering and commenting on how you take or don’t take other peoples suggestions. If you find your thoughts shifting to what others will think bring yourself back and think of what good it will do YOU.
2. Do what’s right for YOU. If someone offers a suggestion take the time to consider it. Explore the idea in your head or talk through it with them. If your automatic response is to simply do the opposite of what anyone says you could be missing out big time. If the idea is good and do-able, if you can make it work and you can enjoy it why wouldn’t you do it? It really doesn’t matter who’s idea it was in the first place.
3. Don’t let others control you. It’s amazing how often our moods can be affected by other people. But if you think about it, you (and only you) have control over your moods. When someone else is angry do you let their mood wash over you as well? Don’t relinquish control of your mind to other people. Become empowered to control your own thoughts, feelings and emotions. Rebelling against people just for the sake of proving a point actually puts them in control. Why would you allow that? Take back the reins and go back to the second point here: Do what’s right for YOU, regardless of what others think or feel.
Remember: “Opinions are like butts, everybody has one.” Take time to figure out what it is that works for you, what you want to do and what will add joy and happiness to your life. Then get out there and do it. Just because you’re doing something that someone else has suggested doesn’t mean you are a mindless drone that needs to be told what to do. Sometimes others really do have great ideas and if these ideas will add to your happiness, self-esteem or goals in life then go for it!
See also:
How To Choose Goals And Ensure Success
Photo courtesy of: ijonas
9 Responses to “Being A Rebel: Is It Killing Your Happiness?”
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Well said, Sherri! So many people go out of their way to be “independent” or “in charge” that they often shoot themselves in the foot.
I should know, I’ve been guilty of doing this a time or two myself. Of course I can’t speak for everyone, but in myself, I see it as a sign of immaturity. When I catch myself thinking “You can’t tell me what to do” or something similar, I stop and think about it for a second. I ask myself if I’m just being childish, or if I have a legitimate reason for responding that way. More often than not, I can see where it’s just my inner child trying to have his say, and I can proceed accordingly. The trick, of course, is recognizing it when it happens…
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Lazy Summer Days
“Some ideas are good, even if they aren’t your own.”
Really?
Seriously, #3 is a zinger for me. It’s not so much that I don’t recognize the value that others provide. But that if I accept said value, I’ve thereby reduced my own value. I’ve proven my own value is insufficient, hence the requirement to leverage others.
As you might imagine, this thought process often gets me into trouble. I’m (rightly) perceived as stubborn, inflexible and egotistical.
Your #3 reminds me that rebelling in this instance is actually the safe choice. I’m limited by the offerings of my own paradigm. Willingness to leverage my paradigm as well as others provides unlimited opportunities.
Great post. Thanks!
Nelia´s last blog ..Teacher’s Pet : The Hank and Nelia Love Story, Part II
I’m so confused now! I just got through reading David’s post, at Raptitude, and was determined to go against the grain. Then I read this one and decided to go with the flow. Now I’m not really sure WHICH direction I’m heading, or whether I’m with or against the current!
But you bring up a very important point: rebelling just for the sake of being contrarian, is ridiculous (sometimes dumb, or even dangerous). I’m a big fan of doing things your own way, but only when you find the established way to be lacking. I guess it’s the old, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” thing.
Lisis | Quest For Balance´s last blog ..My Favorite Things: An Antidote to Sadness
I LOVE this post. I tend to be a bit of a rebel at times and I think that’s actually caused a lot of problems for me regarding my personal happiness. I LOVE the suggestions you’ve included here. Awesome!!
My inner teenager is always rebellion even against things I WANT to do, but I’ve learned how to keep him quiet by focusing on choosing to do things rather than obligating myself to do them.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog ..When Accountability Doesn’t Work
I was once rebellious (my wife as well) at admitting that a business I owned (restaurant) would not make it. The college near us closed down a huge dorm complex that supplied many of our customers. The city had ongoing projects that continually diverted pass through traffic, etc., etc. But it took while for us to let our ‘baby’ go because our other location had done so well.
However, once we did decide to let it go so many other opportunities opened up for us.
I used to be a rebel until I understood the difference between being reactive and proactivily doing things differently.
However the rebel in me sometimes rebels against that as well.
I find (in myself as well as others) that sometimes the desire to rebel comes from a manipulative form of control.
But you’re right – we need to applaud others when they have good ideas, instead of feeling threatened. There is more than enough success available in this world for all of us!
Jamie
steadymom´s last blog ..Gardening with Kids – Update