@Ian – Certainly don’t become a doormat, don’t give in to unacceptable behaviour, and don’t treat others as more important than yourself.

I’m glad you left this comment as it gives me a chance to help clarify where I was going with this post.

If I’m not mindful I will largely ignore the cashier when grocery shopping and keep to the bare minumum transaction. But if I’m able to treat that cashier as I would a good friend then my attitude towards the cashier changes. A fake smile becomes real, an exchange of greetings becomes sincere, the person behind the counter is no longer part of the machinery but becomes a real person with a real name and real feelings.

That shift in thinking is what the 2nd question is all about.

Indeed, great questions and vital ones.

My answers to 1 and 3 were the same as yours and 50% the same for the second. I believe the most important person is always ME! Now I know that sounds egotistic and selfish, and indeed it could be so. Probably it’s the problem of trying to put a ranking on importance.

When I’m with someone else I’d prefer to treat both of us as EQUALLY important.

That way I care for myself and have more to give, and can care for others without becoming a doormat. I also believe that some things other people do (and I do, for that matter) are unacceptable to me. In order to have any impact on the world I want to stand up for my own values – and if I treat others as more important than myself I’m not going to do that.

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1 out of 3 ain’t bad – oh wait… it is bad. Doh!

I actually know a little something about Leo Tolstoy: he wasn’t just a great author, he was also a great human being.

Thanks for this very poignant post.

BTW, # 3 is the one that speaks to me the most at my current place in life.

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Awesome post, Gwynn.

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