3 Important Questions To Consider
The short story The Three Questions by Leo Tolstoy has 3 questions posed and I’m willing to bet that you’ll get 1 answer right and 2 wrong. The questions are:
1. When is the most important time?
2. Who is the most important person?
3. What is the most important thing you can do?
When is the most important time?
If you answered “now”, then you are right. It’s not the past; it’s not the future, but right here right now.
Why now? The past is just a memory. There’s nothing you can do to change what has already happened. It’s done, it’s over, it’s gone and there is no getting it back.
The future is just an idea. It’s your prediction of what’s going to happen and sometimes your prediction is right and sometimes it isn’t. The problem with the future is it’s just an idea that you can become attached to and when things don’t work out as planned you feel a sense of loss as “this wasn’t the way things were supposed to happen.”
That leaves us with now. This very hour, minute, second is all we really have. It’s the most important time and it’s where you can have an impact. The past is just a ghost of a memory and the future is simply an idea.
I’m guessing this is the question you got right.
Who is the most important person?
Most people will answer that the most important person is me, my spouse, or my kids. I’m afraid I disagree with those answers.
The most important person is the person you are with. When you’re in a meeting with your boss, she’s the most important person. When you’re in a cab, the driver is the most important person. When you’re with your kids, they are the most important. Alone with your spouse, she’s the most important. And when you are sitting alone by yourself, you guessed it, YOU are the most important person.
Got that one wrong? How about this one:
What is the most important thing you can do?
The most important thing you can do is to care. Care about your boss — she’s a real person and someone at home loves her very much. Care about your cab driver — he may be saving a friend’s life tomorrow. Care about your kids — they will one day be raising their own kids with the all the skills you give them today. Care about your spouse — they’re standing by you despite your flaws and weaknesses.
The most important time is now, the most important person is the person you are with, and the most important thing you can do is to care.
Life has no guarantees and we have no idea of how the future will play out. The people you are interacting with now may be saving your life in 10 minutes time, they may be the last people you will ever see. How do you want to act in the last moments of your life? Alternatively, maybe they are the next to go, how do you want to act with them in the last moments of their life? It may sound morbid but we are all here for a very short time and we may not know when or how but eventually we will all go.
The past is gone, the future is undefined, but this very minute is yours to enjoy. How are you spending it? Are you reading this article when you should be apologizing or saying “I love you” to someone? Should you be making steps to getting out of debt or taking time for yourself?
What should you be doing with this gift of time? This very hour, minute, second.
See Also:
Love Is A Verb
Tips To Enjoy Life
Stand Your Ground, But Only On The Important Stuff
Other references:
Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?: Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life’s Difficulties
Photo courtesy of: Oberazzi
25 Responses to “3 Important Questions To Consider”
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Your Life | Live it. Love it. is a book designed to encourage you to examine where you are right now and inspire you to get to where you ultimately want to be.
Wow! What a great post! And so amazingly, awesomely true, too! The world would be SUCH a better place for everyone if each of us would learn to get over ourselves and allow the people we are with to become the most important person in our lives…even if it’s just for that one moment. I’m going to commit this to memory, I think it will serve as a great reminder for myself and will help all of my interpersonal relationships tremendously. Thank you so much for this!
Jay Schryer’s last blog post..Integrating the Whole
Loved this! And I am looking forward to your fantastic posts whenever you are able to get them to us! I also have been going through a transition deciding how often I want to post (and why I feel such a pressure to post MORE MORE)– it is a wonderful example to honor your time and choose to put the things you enjoy into your life at a PACE that allows you to continue to enjoy them! Bravo!
Lisa @ WellGrounded Life’s last blog post..I’m at Simple Mom today: Why we say yes when we really mean no
I got the first one right! I missed the other two, as predicted; but I love the answers. That means, the most important person right now is YOU… and I definitely care about you and yours.
=-)
Lisis | Quest For Balance’s last blog post..Adventure: Conquer The World
Hi Gwynn,
I agree with your perspective. Whomever you are with at any given moment is the most important person. This is a great post and promotes a skill that is so much needed and it is amazing the wonders it can do!:)
Nadia-Happy Lotus’s last blog post..Lessons Learned From The Law of Attraction
@Jay – Welcome to our site and thanks for the nice comment!
I was first blown away when I first encountered this idea as I never considered treating strangers and acquaintances like I would treat my own loved ones. When I do it it makes all the difference in the world!
@Lisa – Thanks Lisa!
I know how you feel about pressuring yourself to do more and more. We want to make sure that Serene Journey remains fun and doesn’t doesn’t take too much time away from the kids and each other. We’re having a blast and are going to keep it that way!
@Lisis – Ditto! The first question’s easy, but those last 2 aren’t obvious at all (well they weren’t to me when I first read about them). And shucks…don’t I feel important…you have another 10 seconds of importance left until i’m done this comment…
@Nadia – It really makes sense and just makes you feel good when you treat other people well. From what I can tell…you’ve got this skill mastered!
I’ve never been a literary type so never read any Tolstoy but now I see why he is so highly regarded. It’s such a simple little story and such a great way of illustrating these three points.
Julian’s last blog post..How To Control How Much TV You Watch
I was told the answer some time ago to “who is the most important person”. I just love it!! It highlights that my mind should be nowhere else but being here in the present with whoever I am with. Great post!! I enjoyed the reminder!
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Lessons Learned From The Law of Attraction
This was a lovely post and a very enjoyable read. The only thing I might disagree with is the most important person. I have a hard time getting past the most important person is you, no matter who you are with. I’ll chew on this a while and after all that’s the point of all this – to make us think.
Thanks!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap’s last blog post..Yes You Can!
Hi Gwynn,
I absolutely love the second point and have told myself to remember it everyday. “The most important person is the person you are with”. Wow. Such a powerful reminder not to hanker after more or better when what we have with us is already more than we could ask for. Thanks for this!
Daphne’s last blog post..Book Review: Flying By the Seat of My Soul
Thank you–this was just the words I needed to shift my lousy Monday into a better perspective. I’m a new reader of your posts and so glad I came across them!
@Julian – I agree. 3 Questions is certainly a very easy read and can be done within 10 minutes or so. It’s nothing like his better known (and massive!) War and Peace.
@Evelyn – You got 2 questions right? That makes you the official 3 questions genius!
@Stephen – Welcome Stephen. “And when you are sitting alone by yourself, you guessed it, YOU are the most important person.” Sorry bud, you’re only the most important when you’re alone!
@Daphne – Thanks for sharing that point. We can achieve happiness today if we decide to be content and satisfied with what we already have.
@Gayle – I hate to sound corny but you’ve just made my day. Knowing that what I wrote today made somebody’s day a little better is the best pat on the back I can receive. Thanks for the comment.
Very interesting! I got two of the questions wrong… opps! But the one I got right was the first one (no surprise there). Now is the most important time. It’s the best time. It’s the ONLY time. So embrace the present!
Positively Present’s last blog post..stop slackin’ & get crackin’
I really like this post and I completely agree with you. It’s really about being fully present in this moment with an attitude of loving-kindness.
Roger | A Content Life’s last blog post..30 Days of Mindful Eating – Author Interview
@Positively Present – Time’s just weird. We have only ever lived in the current moment but we think in terms of past, present, and future. Then there’s the whole quantum theory stuff where the faster you move the slower time passes relative to other folks. Say what?!
@Roger – Thanks Roger. “Loving-kindness” – scarce are the words that create such a positive feeling.
Great answer for number two. What a powerful idea. I’ll have to investigate Tolstoy.
Awesome post, Gwynn.
David Cain’s last blog post..The Secret to Connecting With People
@David – Yeah the second one seems to be the fave among us all.
Hey Gwynn,
1 out of 3 ain’t bad – oh wait… it is bad. Doh!
I actually know a little something about Leo Tolstoy: he wasn’t just a great author, he was also a great human being.
Thanks for this very poignant post.
BTW, # 3 is the one that speaks to me the most at my current place in life.
Michael’s last blog post..Love Challenge #2: No Thanks
Gwynn
Indeed, great questions and vital ones.
My answers to 1 and 3 were the same as yours and 50% the same for the second. I believe the most important person is always ME! Now I know that sounds egotistic and selfish, and indeed it could be so. Probably it’s the problem of trying to put a ranking on importance.
When I’m with someone else I’d prefer to treat both of us as EQUALLY important.
That way I care for myself and have more to give, and can care for others without becoming a doormat. I also believe that some things other people do (and I do, for that matter) are unacceptable to me. In order to have any impact on the world I want to stand up for my own values – and if I treat others as more important than myself I’m not going to do that.
Ian | Quantum Learning’s last blog post..6 reasons eating vegetarian food is best
@Michael – Okay, now you’ve piqued my curiousity – I’m going to have to read up on Tolstoy.
@Ian – Certainly don’t become a doormat, don’t give in to unacceptable behaviour, and don’t treat others as more important than yourself.
I’m glad you left this comment as it gives me a chance to help clarify where I was going with this post.
If I’m not mindful I will largely ignore the cashier when grocery shopping and keep to the bare minumum transaction. But if I’m able to treat that cashier as I would a good friend then my attitude towards the cashier changes. A fake smile becomes real, an exchange of greetings becomes sincere, the person behind the counter is no longer part of the machinery but becomes a real person with a real name and real feelings.
That shift in thinking is what the 2nd question is all about.
I love that you published this again on Jen’s list. I did only get one right – shocking!
This is a great way not just to start this week, but to think about in the new year.
I love your blog – there is always something I totally relate to.
Thanks a bunch and Happy New Year!
Karen