Enrich Your Life By Facing Your Fears Head On.

There is the fear that keeps you alive and then there’s the fear that keeps you from living.

Fear of something real.

The fear that keeps you alive is the good one, without it I really don’t think we’d last too long. Fear is an emotional response to real, tangible, physical threats or dangers and it is hardwired into us to keep us safe from real dangers.

Imagine driving along in your car and you come across a downed power line. It’s flicking around, sparking and fizzing just like you see in the movies. The thing keeping you away from that sparking live wire is real fear. It’s something that lets you keep your distance and be safe. This type of fear is not the same as the kind that can potentially keep you from living and enjoying life, that is the fear of taking a perceived risk.

Fear of a perceived risk.

Fear of a perceived risk is a fear that can paralyze you and keep you from enjoying life. It’s also hardwired into us but this doesn’t keep us safe from real dangers. Instead, this is the fear that keeps us from entering situations that we think have the ability to harm us.

In reality, harm from these situations rarely occurs and even when it does the consequences may not be that severe. Fear of something imagined can limit our experiences and prevent us from living life to the fullest. Being able to step outside of our comfort zone has the ability to make us feel alive, invigorated, and full of life.

Jumping out a perfectly good airplane.

I was able to face my fear of heights a few years ago when I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane a few thousand feet above the ground.

After signing up for parachuting, I spent the day getting trained on the “correct way” to jump out of an airplane. The instructors went over the proper placement of my feet and hands and all the steps I needed to follow in order to safely climb out of the plane and dangle from under the wing.

Several hours later I found yourself doing just that. There I was fooling around on the outside of the plane hanging from the wing looking over at my instructor, who was still safely inside. I then got the signal to let go. Going against everything my mind and body was telling me…I let go.

The initial fall was gut wrenching but I was quickly brought to my senses when the parachute fully deployed. It was after this sudden jolt (and huge sigh of relief) that I could enjoy the serene, calm descent down to the solid ground below.

This gentle ride to the ground is in stark contrast to the adrenaline pumping jump out of the plane that took place just a few seconds earlier. My senses were heightened and I marveled at being able to experience a birds eye view of the world while floating safely back to earth.

That experience is something I will never forget. I certainly had a healthy level of fear going into it but it was all fear of the imagined outcomes, what might happen. When you look at the cold hard numbers you’ll see that one parachute jump has the same level of risk as driving roughly 600 miles in your car. For most of us, that’s equivalent to a week or two of commuting to work. (see the How Skydiving Works link at the bottom of this post for more info).

It was looking at the actual risk (i.e. probability of something horrible happening) of parachuting that allowed me to take the leap and overcome my fears. What I got out of this was an experience that was exciting and memorable. Will I go parachuting again? Probably not now that I have kids. “But this is flawed thinking” you say, because if it’s safe enough to do without kids then it should be safe enough to do as a parent. I understand that argument but having done it once was all I ever wanted to do and I did it so now I move on.

The point is that the fear I had was not based on reality; it was based on the perceptions. Had I remained afraid and not approached it I would have missed out on a truly valuable experience.

Enrich your life by facing your fears head on.

Identify your fear. What do you fear most? Is it jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, public speaking, heights, flying or water? Identifying what you are most afraid of is the first step to squashing that fear.

What’s the worst that could happen? Taking the emotion out of your fear may help you to see it a little more clearly. Is it likely that you will be seriously hurt or die from doing this? If the answer is yes then probably not something you want to be getting over. But if it’s highly unlikely that it’ll cause you harm go for it!

If it’s a fear of water (or more specifically drowning) – it’s highly unlikely that it will happen while in the shallow end of a pool in an organized swim class. If it’s a fear of public speaking (very unlikely that something harmful will come of that) then start small and speak to a handful of people and progressively start addressing larger audiences.

What’s the best that could happen? By conquering your fears and stepping outside of your comfort zone you might actually HAVE FUN! You could be opening a door to a whole new world and a heap of new opportunities. If you get over your fear of water wouldn’t spending the day beach side with your kids or grandkids be all that more enjoyable. If you were to conquer your fear of flying think of how much time you would save on the next cross country trip you might even be able to head over seas and explore an entirely new world!

Conquering your fears can be one of the best ways to add more joy to your life. Is it hard? You bet! Will it be rewarding? Very likely! Will you regret facing and overcoming your fears? I’ll go out on a limb and say no!

What fears have you overcome in your lifetime? How has overcoming them added to your quality of life? What other fears do you have that you’re working on overcoming?

See also (off site):

How Skydiving Works